im not going to stay at people who dont deserve it. totally wasting my time and emotions. tsk.

as for my results. ): i just wished, i didnt slack so much.. or i could do better. ): year 2 will be better.once bitten twice shy.

im tired. ):

cherrie's back in spore. supposedly go out with her and weixuan, but she hasnt get back to me yet.

feeling so blue now.=x

the 100th post.

when you drop a glass or plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound.
when a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise.
but as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent.
you would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell.
but it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

if there's a noise, it's internal. it screams and no one can hear it but you.
it screams so loud your ears ring, and your head aches.
it thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken.
that's what it looks like and that's what is sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions.

but that's the thing about love-no one is untouchable.
it's as wild as that, as raw as on open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it breaks, it's actually silent.
you're screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

but you, saw the heartbreak in me and i saw it in you, and without having to talk about it we both knew.
it was time to stop walking with our heads in the clouds, and instead, keep our feet on the harder soil of ground level we should always have been rooted to.

taken from" If you could see me now" by Cecelia Ahern

i have got so much to say. so bear with my yakking and crapping yea? well, you asked for it when you came to this page. (:

oh well. :D

let see... 23rd feb. ziqi bday suprise. ((:
asked her out, under the pretense of spending the saturday with her to celebrate her bday. only me weili n the bday girl herself. xiaomin n chance so happened not able to come, so 3 of us only. some more weili got her piano lessons in the afternoon, so only able to join us in the evening. cut the long story short, chance n xiaomin suddenly popped out of no where (tho i know where) and suprised ziqi. ((: with the big. no. huge. happy birthday princess balloon, and the weight holding down the balloon are. check this out. 2 box of condoms. :DD with really very nice box designs. hah! ((: use wisely har ziqi! and 12 donut. ((: ate cafe cartel at msq. and den cabbed to chance's fren, boris, house. or should i say. mansion.

seriously. it's the first freaking time i saw an elevator in someone house!! and the basement, meant to be a bombshelter, is his playroom! 2 drum set, one of them is electronic, one electric bass, and one electric guitar. and in front of his front door is one frigging al fresco! how cool can that be! it's super big la the house. think at least 4 story. goodness. oh and the garage! it's the size of my whole 5 room apt. ahh! one big playground for us. (: but most of the time we spent there was used for playing mahjong, and singing kbox. yeah! he has a super wide range of songs we can choose from! and it's free! and unlimitless hours! and play mahjong at will! haha!! and we dont have to snatch for mic. there's like 4 of them. wahaha!! ((:

the night didnt end just like that. we den cabbed down to chance house in bedok. to play. monopoly! ((: thank god i didnt embarass myself as a finance student. tho im nt the monopoly. but im satisfied enough to say, my assets, tho lesser than chance, are considered quite a lot. :D and thanks to ziqi and weili n chance, monopoly has never been so fun! haha! oh! and we played the game in BEN WOON's room! haha! one more thing. chance has seriously ALOT of toys! he has all the different editions of monopoly, board games, and transformers toys. and even play dough! hah! ((:

den, the night finally ended with me ziqi n weili cabbed back. weili came over my house for the night, whatever that is left of it. and started catching up. and i missed my darling alot. ): so we ended up talking till we fell asleep. haha!(:

next moring i woke up, weili left already. haha! she didnt want to disturb me so yea. rushed to church at 11. cabbed dere and went overflow room. and right after church, i rushed down to vivo to meet audd n junwei to watch fool's gold. wanted to catch the 3.50pm show, but no good seats left, so settled for the 6.40pm one.audd n i depressed ourselves when we were supposedly to be window shopping, but, our shopping list just seemed to elongated as we went about doing so. )): oh well. once the $$ starts coming in...:D

fool's gold is nice! tho i dun really catch the history, but kate hudson is hot. and the guy lead, matthew mcConaughey, is quite comical.:D the story line, well, it's enjoyable i guess. but the casting was good. i would say worth a catch. (: next in line, theeye. (:

and!! we went bedok 85 to makan!!! wahaha!!
my bah chor mee! and stringray! and chicken wings!!! and sambal kangkong!! ((: but was super bloated after awhile, hence leaving many untouched food. ): wasted. but the food was bagus!! :D

oh oh!! junwei is officially a himbo, swine/swinelet, and muddd! haha!
he can do the malay slang darn well!! got me n audd laughing like morons. and! he was imitating audd the whole day, cause i told him the other time he treated me to kungfu dunk, i was going to treat audd to gv gold class. and he asked me why i didnt treat him. so i told him, rebond n cut ur hair like audd and do all those bimbo and "kawaii" poses she does, and i may consider treating him. heh! ((: he's super himbo la!! omg!! haha!! we should have videoed it all down and make a junwei moments 1. (: audd, u got a successor. haha!

den today!! audd n i met early today to look for job, and we are proud to say we got one now!! haha!! as a customer service officer.. (: and going to start work tmr~~ weeee!! haha! ((:

went bugis tcc to makan. and again, ended up feeling so bloated. ):

and i feeling utterly bimbotic, with bad hair, decided to cut my hair. so trained down to far east. and.. ): i cut bangs jus like audd. ): my hair looks better now, less unkempt and all, but it feels weird. u guys will know it, when you see me. ):

oh well, life goes on, and im gonna be stronger! grins! (:

-loves n kisses-
felina

i dont want history to repeat itself. i dont wish for another episode like his. i dont want to go through anymore heartache or mind boggling matters.

i dont what to do other than taking things as it goes. but, i seriously hope these 2 very much treasured friendships don't go awry. i think i got alot going in my life now

seriously, im scared and sick and tired. and im wondering now is it my fault. how did things get so crazy?

when these things happen to my friends, i could see straight and give them advices. but now, i cant even see the stuffs in front of me. everything seemed to fade out and. blurred. i have no idea what to do, but just go with the flow.

part of me wish that all these are just a bad dream, part of me hope that im just being paranoid and being the worrisome me.

truth is, whatever im hoping for, seems to be the un-truth. i pray that it better not be so.

alo alo!! ((:

today was day out alone! hahah! which is good! ((: cause i have time and space to sort out my thoughts n feelings. (: went dental appt. and trained to orchard. seriously. i need a job! i kept reminding myself that im jobless and shldnt be spending so much. but failed. u guys will know why later. but on a brighter side, i walked past top shop, zara, dorothey perkins and all those lovely shops at wisma n taka.
anw. i went to cold storage to buy newspapers and sat down at yoshi for lunch and started callin up prospective employees. thank god im not working for them, they sounded so much like assholes. rude and all. everybody knows u're just the receptionist and getting screwed by ur boss. literally and figuratively. sorry for the language here.

oh. and i told junwei, im contemplating to find a rich husband frm bukit timah/dempsey. quit school and be taitai((:

as planned, i took a loong walk from orchard to plaza sing, to sort out my thoughts and feelings. which im proud to say is rather effective. (: aft the long walk, my stomach was growling again and i relaxed at secret recipe, eating banana choc cake. it's my fav after oreo cheesecake at tcc. (:

having stomach all fulled up. my shopping addiction kicked in. ((: bought more stuffs frm chomel again. seriously. it's once in a blue moon chomel has sales. so why not!? haha! (:

tired n sorted out. mrted home. and my day just even better. there's 3 angmohs. with dark grey eyes, long eyelashes and with those greek god's builts! and im sure they are frm brazil. my fav guy is mr. nice hair. he has those soft, brown fringe that keeps falling over his mesmerizing eyes while he played his psp. winning 11! im gonna bug josiah n junwei to teach me how to play. and his fingers are darn slender. and he's super tall. say. 1.8 plus? all of them are. ((: and his jaws are oh so masculine. goodness. i was darn smitten la! kept smsing audd abt them. :D please, come to spore more often. to top things off with a cherry on ice cream, they alighted at tampines!! praise the lord!! haha!
life just gets better. (:

anw. meeting xiaomin n ziqi for movies later. (: ah long pte ltd again.(:

-loves n kisses-
felina

lord, guard my heart. (:

hello!

yesterday was steamboat with boonyen, yiling, audrey, yihang, chonghan, kelvin and zeeming.

darn full~ super bloated. hence worth the moola! haha!

anyways. went shopping at vivo with audd before meeting them. bought another chomel hair claw and 2 tops. weeeeeeee!!! happy! i saw these shades n pumps at charles and keith im dying to buy, but audd told me not to ): but u know what. im gonna buy them tonight i guess. or at least before the sales is over. (:

seriously. im gonna do a bimbotic post today. first. my hair. it's seriously in need of trimming, better still, rebonding.. the ends are horrible and my fringe is arrggh!
den my feets. pedicure aside. there's layers of dead skin that needs to be scraped off. and i have like 2 blisters on my feet! the after effects of playing in hot sand of sentosa on a hot day.
and to top things off, i've been gorging n gorging myself for the past few days when im slacking at home. living off maggie mee and chocolates n snacks. =x


worst thing out of all, i havent get a job yet. damm it! ))):

-loves n kisses-
felina

photos out later.(:

princess hours is darn nice.. and this happens to be the countless times i've watched it, so i can remember most of the parts. awww. i think this is the best Cinderella love story i ever watched..

joo ji hoon is so handsome la! ((:

and all those draggy and boring parts, i skip them. and being such a know-it-all for this show, i know when to skip the parts, some times even the whole cd.

oh man. i love this la! this show is the show that accompanied me thru the prelims season. chiong thru the night and all.
and thanks mel for getting me the disc. lots of love man.

posting results out already. im amazed. so many of my juniors chose jc, as compared to my batch. (: well, all the best people!

:D

okay. enough blabbering. and my eldest sissy kept asking to forward the parts. idiot. back to show.

and smoking stinks.

-loves n kisses-
felina

choking.

staying at home the whole day and watch videos after videos totally rocks my sloppy life. but. ): i need work badly.

ive decided, if doreen doesnt call by thurs. im headhunting for work on my own.. ): lord, help me father. (:

next. i got the p.s. i loveyou ost already. actuallie buy for audd since i saw it today at popular. serenaded by the songs. ^^

met sab today. with u and audd as examples of short hair, i have no hesitation to make my final decision of keeping my hair at the length it is at now. (:

last but not least, i need to work.

oh. and my mum bought donuts. (: love me, love donuts. ^^

-loves n kisses-
felina

seriously. i am spoilt for choice already.right now as i type, im loading 5 movies. to last me the whole day. and out of the 5, there's like 4 that i havent catch, and there are considered rather recent release. like step up 2 the streets, acroos the universe, super bad, and defintely maybe. (:

tmr morning shall be The Eye. gek that josiah kim! haha!


here's the link for my movie marathon~

MOVIES!


-loves n kisses-
felina

off to movie marathon! going to rewatch 27 dresses and p.s. i love you. (:

guys can be such an asshole sometime right?

if you have no money to have a girlfriend, dun even try getting into a r.s. when the whole r.s. ends, dont be such a loser to claim money from her, for all the stuffs and things u treat her. what a sucker. and i present to u someone i know, from a close proximity. the thought of him being within my parameter just disgust me from the crown of my head to the soles of myfeet. ladies n gentlemen, allow me to present to you, and welcome him with baskets of rotten eggs and tomato, all on the house, my sister EX boyfriend, paul whatever is his name.

seriously. have some balls will ya? ask money from my sissy for buying one or 2 pathetic gucci bags, and treats to those classy oh madonna restaurants?

like junwei always say, what a SWINE!

that aside.
i feel so burn now and my back feels like it's a dozen on knives and thousands of pins poking at my back, especially the upper torso, near my shoulders and neck. i feel like wearing tube till the burn is healed. =x carrying a bag had never been such a torture. ):

but nonetheless, i had great time at sentosa with yiling, boonyen, audrey, and shermin.(: the day started off with junwei's 5 missed morning calls. felt so guilty cause i was alr washing up when he gave the missed calls, so to make it up, i bought him ice milo from macs. im such a nice daughter eh?!
reached sentosa and once again, we started by playing improper volleyball, then sat down and heart attack! (:
werent able to play big 2 at first cause audd was a handicapped player. so, back to the basics with card games. heart attack. with forfeit sweet. we videoed down the forfeits and i promise they wil be up by next post. or as soon as audd sends them.

suntanned. and shermin joined us later. her arrival came the arrivals of the hypertonic drinks, that quenched our thrist and prevented us from being over dehyrated. (: cam whored with this tree, which must felt so blessed that so many pretty ladies are trying to save it(private joke). haha! (; sat under this shady tree and chat, till this guy came up to us to play volleyball with them.. god knows how awesome our skills are.. as awesome as a dog can fly. :X but we played along as well, just to realise that the guys skills are comparable to ours. (:

den arnd 2 plus, we were all kinda heat burnt and decided to head back to vivo. washed up and our skins felt like they were going to peel. ): came back spore(like how junwei phrased it) and went to meet junwei for kungfu dunk. hah! now i know why audd they all are so crazy over the shows. haha! it's worth a cinema trip. and once again, i would like to thank junwei for the treat and sorry for making you wait around and all. but i think u are used to it already arent u?! haha. thanks daddy. (:

over the movie, went to meet the girls again. :D ate at food republic, and chat. den! back to SAND-TOE-SAH again.. for the chair lift and luge. so cool la! this is the first time i went for luge ride at night. (: kinda scary too. especially the chair lift. but gosh darn it, the view was spectacular and picturesque. it was soooo romantic with baobei. <3 style="font-style: italic;">ismail~~

feeling real tired and exhausted from all the suntanning, me n audd trained home, sleepin all the way back until this super inconsiderate moron talked darn loudly on the phone, and he has a fire alarm as his ringtone. bull crap. next time i see him, his family jewels will jus become memories. =x

and today! im at home. watching movies! yeah! i watched juno already! and nanny diaries. and as i type now, stomp the yard, night at the museum, step up 1, over her dead body and las vegas(tv series by JOSH DUHAMEL) is loading. except that, im tired and drowsy now from lunch and feels like sleeping. hahaha!

think i shall go get some sleep.

-loves n kisses-
felina

burnt.

here goes. totally RIPPED OFF from audrey's blog.

all from audrey's POV. but definitely a very detailed summarization of the day's events.

VDAY(aka bachelorettes day out) WAS WAY FANTABULOUS!
and maybe even more memorable as compared to the previous.

i have yet to upload all the pictures because i forgot my darn cable and
so the day started off with felina and i meeting up slightly earlier at 12.30 at orchard to get ourselves all dressed up for the sweet surprise.
we had so much to bring, especially me due to other plans after midnight.
we had much difficulty before that deciding on what bag to bring as we would be males and females at different times of the day. and despite the rather huge bag that i bought a few days before, it still wasnt big enough to contain all the clothes and essentials i had to bring.
changed to our guys outfit and i must say, i'm really surprised by my sudden change of appearance and we were absolutely dashing :D
i lent the shirt from Junwei and thank goodness he was petite for a guy. the shirt fit really well, it wasnt too big nor too fitting either. at the same time, we got our suspenders and shades/glasses, as well as those canvas shoes.
thank goodness i still had my converse shoes that i have not been wearing since forever, they sure do come in handy at a time like this. anyhoo, ithey went down to bin after we changed to our dresses.
we got everything set and i waited for my date (yiling) at popular whereas fel's meeting point with boonyen was somewhere close to tangs.
and the most saddening part was that yiling couldnt even recognise me! well, and that just shows how successful and brilliant our change have been. on the other hand, boonyen laughed till she practically teared the moment she caught sight of felina from afar.
and we proceeded with our dates, presented the their gifts and off we were to make it just on time for the movie; P.S I Love You.
and because i had already read the book before catching the movie, i must say that the book is still way better, much more detailed, with more elaboration and you can really feel and relate more better to the book itself. Cecilia Ahern really did a good job in completing the book eh, and not to forget how i kept crying with every letter she received.
oh and before the movie, we received our little gift from our very own dates too! i can assure you, we all have telepathy! this strong chemistry between us will never die and go faint! :D we ended up doing a collage for each other and we got ours in a rather big board but i must admit, it's drop dead adorable!

after the movie, we headed to an open space in between taka and wisma, and that's when fel and i started serenading to our dates. and sorry guys, i knew my singing turned out sucky, despite the numerous times i have been assuring you guys that i was from PRIMARY school choir. and hahaha ! even fel and me myself couldnt figure what i was singing too! there were 2 chinese songs and even though i have heard them many times and i should roughly know how it goes, it got pretty tough without the music. i hope they loved it though. ):
we later got the privilege to change to our dresses and thats when the feminine side of us showed and finally, we need not hide our faces under the cap and shades. or rather, to avoid excessive unnecessary attention from the public eye.
after that, we sat at the istana park for while and cam whored while waiting for suzanna to arrive too.
boonyen and yiling were dropping hints about their surprise but yet, the end result was nothing related to whatever they said while sitting there. trust me on this, they were telling us about some strangers coming on a hot pink ferrari and all the really nonsensical irrelevant things! :D
since suzanna's arrival was sort of last minute, we managed to get a non-real rose for her. i named it as a non-real rose cause the word "fake rose" just sound so...FAKE ? and oh yes, the price of just one mere stalk of rose now is totally crazy and preposterous! it was as though there was this sudden mass inflation (aka hyperinflation) thing going on. omg, being back the economic terms.
we then made our way to the restaurant where we personally went down to made reservation the other day and settled there.
despite the guy's advice to us beforehand that the food served would be delayed slightly, because we weren't going for the vday's menu, the food was served rather fast actually. and the service was efficient too! not to mention how great the food were too, and the price was somehow acceptable. it's really a great and ideal place to dine, we are so going back there, no questions about it.
after that, we headed to the istana park once again and this time, it was for the surprise that the other two ding dongs had planned for us. it was really sweet, i tell you!
they occupied a small space by the end of the pavement and arranged candles as well as these mini cupcakes that they had specially went all the way to the Central to get for us!
they look really sweet and they were the ones that i have been talking about when i saw it in boonyen's blog!
they came in mini sizes and also, the different flavours! i guessed what sets them apart from any other ordinary cupcakes is their decoration that requires special and precise skills!
in addition to that, they got me and fel one each too. we got the giant ones, i got the vanilla chocolate flavour, which was said to be the newly introduced flavour to mark this special occasion.
i have yet to even touch an inch of it, but damn how can i even touch and ruin it with my monstress mouth? :/
ok no, i just took a bite out of it, damn.
after that, we went to the row of pavement at the back where the wind will not be that strong and we settled there playing the teacup candles as well as play games of our own.
you, i or anyone else would have never imagined the game "chop chili chop" to be a game filled with such hardcore maximal excitement, fun and laughter huh.
i remember those games being played during guides or orientation but omg, playing with this bunch of hooligans was a blast!
we kept making our actions get bigger and exaggerating with every round and soon, we were all laughing our asses off instead of continuing with the game. needless to say, we could hardly carry on with the tune itself too! by the 5th or 6th sequence, we were already gasping for air, practically going "chop*gasp**hahaha*cho..*hahaha*gasp* chil*HAHAH*.."
we are so losing weight just by playing with this game, we told ourselves.
and thus i suggested, maybe one day we can spend the whole day playing this game and we would then somehow end up losing weight, right?
well, it is definitely going to be better than running rounds and getting ourselves all drained without the fun and excitement, no one would disagree to this!
in fact, they should publish a book titled "the top10 fun ways of losing weight" and this game is definitely making it's way in!
after those games that made me almost pee in my undergarment, we decided that the camera hasn't been put to optimal use just yet.
we took countless random photos, displaying and showcasing our modelling traits and with every round, we come up with themes of our own and we all did really well! some are totally comical, irrelevant to the theme and some are really OOHLALA~
haha!

done(:
p.s. audrey, your post is in ORANGE okay(:


anw~ yesterday, went to zm hse play blackjack, mahjong n steamboat.
:D

met josiah and kendrick at bugis with peiwen and then rot our butts to FARjar for the lil random gathering kendrick suggested. CAI SHEN DAO!! haha! kendrick! sing somemore la! suckeroo!
zeeming's mummy darn good in mahjong! she kept holding onto boonyen tiles and memorising all the tiles boonyen throw out, until she knows what tiles boonyen have. so poor thing! yiling indirectly kena also, her tiles were also guessed out by aunty! thank god i always have a knack to play randomly. so she wasnt able to guess out my set. hahah! thank god for the quirk i have! haha!

den travelled all the way back to tampines arnd 10. the distance is so short -.-

and today! most prob nt going to arrow. going out with audd to shop i guess. (: nice~

tomorrow. sentosa with the ladies. and meet dardiiex (!!) for movie. he's treating again! haha!! who asked him to win so much money during cny in mahjong! and who asked him has josiah as a fren who reports everything. haha ! ((:

-loves n kisses-
felina

im in love with my life.

foot note: when i looked at her life. i cant help but think, even i dont have a boyfren too, but at least, i have comrades of friends, who are fun loving, thick skinned(OOPS), humorous, nonsensical, crappy, random and what have them. at least, i have so much more in-lets of love that i can receive and outlets where i can give love too. i love you girls, both my guides hunnies, siewhoon,yushu,weili,veralyn,sabrina (: and my poly loves,audrey,yiling, boonyen, susanna. thank god for all of u. and of course my dear steph, cherrie and all other frens i didnt mention here. u guys are cherished.

yiling's share of photos.

Actually, its been almost a week since I'm back frm Japan, but I've yet to pen down anything proper bout my trip.
Okay, some of the exciting stuff I did/ experienced were:

snow mobile
snow rafting
dog sleighing
wine making
bear park
falling of snow
eating a $200 Emperor crab
tatami
ONZEN!!! (one with firework somemore)
volcano and its remnants since eruption in 2000.
seafood seafood seafood!!!
squid ink ice cream
Snow festival at Sapparo
Ice carving
Musical box museum (an incredible collection of all the musical boxes, japanese are just so amazing.)
Glass Museum
Majestic mountains in Hokkaido ( Hokkaido Mt Fuji!)
Lake Toya
Japan Wet Market
Some guan yin temple in Tokyo (seriously waste of time, cos it took us an hr to go to the shopping mall in Narita frm there, and most of us did nth much at the temple.)
Kickass toilet bowls

HAPPY VALENTINE PEOPLE! (:

hope that your day was a great one and your valentine was a great one too (: cause mine was a superb one and my valentines were fantabulous! ((:

thanks huns! (:

pichas will soon be up.. as soon as i recieve them all..here's the itinerary formy 14feb2008.

started off my day by traveling dwn to raffles to give steph her lunch treat ^^ hope it was nice?!

den met audd and started our dressing up like a geek. male. it's like in the top 10 category of the most crazy n nonsense things i have done list and totally enjoying every moment of it. ^^ baobei cried in mirth when she saw me! haha! mission accomplished sucessfully!! ^^ nice la! (:

went for p.s. i love you. hmm.. it wasnt as good as the book, but it was nice as well~ haha! kinda funny and definitely touching (: im gonna read the book again. kate hudson has such a hawt bod. jealous jealous~~
and her on screen husband, jerry, real life known as gerard butler, was handsome, the masculine way. (:

speaking of movies, i want watch fool's gold (rated no.1. in us top movie chart), the eye ( no.4) and step up 2. and of course, kungfu dunk starring jay chou. :D any one?

anw~ walked to taka and changed into dress. from ugly, geeky, blur looking nerd to sweet, angelic, demure, feminine divas. (: hahah! im all praises for myself. (: yep and audd too..hahah! see im praising you okay! bused over to p.s. and bought this purple cloth rose for sus who joined us at late notice.. (: happy vday to u dear. but before that! we sat at istana park for ages. which later we realised is for the surprise boonyen n yl planned for us.. (: thanks! haha!

you're my sweet, hunney, buttery cupcakes :DD

went to tea cosy to dine first. the food is good man! the desert too! haha! den went over to istana park again for the surprise.. once again! arigato komzaimashita! thanks for all your hard work!! (:
sat down and started playing this mice game which is kinda catchy, and this "dui bai" game, and the chop chili chop!! haha! all 3 of them said they never played such fun, energetic and spastic rounds of chop chili chop!! hahah! and did some really spastic n retarded "model" camhogging! hahah!! darn fun!

seriously. u girls made my valentine way awesome (:

and my online purchases are mailed to me already! wonderful! haha (:

pichas up next post. i promise

-loves n kisses-
felina (:


ooh. frosty gt an admirer.

today is such a bad day or rather for the past 2 weeks. there's this bad feeling among my whole family with each other. and everyone was in their worst temper, giving attitude and was being quarrelsome over almost every thing.

and i realise, thru out this whole trial, we didnt turn to god at all. we didnt feed on His words for quite a time. and that maybe the reason why we are running low on oil and fuses are burning, not to mention having nasty thoughts towards each other. suffice to say, it was as tho we are on war fare everyday and it was killing us.

den it dawned on me that we should see christ as the sheperd, not just the saviour. and that's exactly what im gonna do. whatever things(verbal) my family members maybe throwing arnd or at me, im gonna trust in Daddy God and his sheperding. if i cant trust him whom can i trust? myself? my family members? did that and it failed terribly.

so im gonna make the devil die in hell by giving him this blow by doing the very thing that he doesnt want me to do, that is trust in my Abba who loves me the most and wants the best for me. He knows what will happen and he will prepare the way for me. He will supernaturally guide us in the most natural ways. Amen.

-loves n kisses-
felina

sometimes it's hard for friends to become lovers.


and there's nothing wrong about it. when a r.s. ends, most of the time, people will just want to remain as friends. i've been there and done that. however, it aint easy doing so. there are just so many barriers in that. it's not impossible, but it's a very tiring thing to do. and more than often, you will realise, two once in love people will just go their own way. why? simply, they couldnt stand the tiredness.

there's 2 scenarios i often see happening to my frens or people around me. so much so, i seem to get the hang of what's happening. if it's not your case or something like that, pardon me. im just a loveguru wannabe and not exactly a love guru, if you get what i mean.

first scenario~
one party hates the other.
duhh. of course you cant expect him/her to still shake hands with you and be all smiles when you're around him/her. firstly, it will just make the person be more irk with you. why would u wan that to happen! let him/her keep the good memories of you two together and dont scratch it any further. and secondly, the person may find you an irritanat and start wondering why on earth i get myself mix with this loser. who knows! the person mayb gloating over your misery! and one more important fact, you broke his/her heart, don't make his/her mind vulnerable too. you cant expect too much now. and maybe by leaving him/her alone, will make peace between both of u


2nd scenario~
both parties are perfectly fine with each other. however.
here's the catch. many a time, like i mentioned, couples will try to become friends after seperation. it aint easy. for starters, the partners' and friends' pendulum swing in a different rhythm.. things are not the same any more. you have different expectations for the person. but sometimes, either one or both parties are not able to switch from one synchrony to another.like changing "us" to "me" and "you"
you may say that both of you still want each other in close proximity. understandable. you guys are used to each other presence. but can i ask you something. let say one fine day, the other party falls in love with another person, would you be magnanimous enough to warm heartedly accept the new partner for ur once lover? let's face it. it's not really that smooth sailing. if you meet those self-concerned bstd, your shelf life in his heart has expired. but even if your partner is not those kind, it's hard to see him/her with someone else while you're at one side reminiscing the past memories that you've with him/her.
also, you may wonder why on earth you wanna continue the whole lovers-to-friends plan. huns, there's nth wrong. you are guys are too used to each other presence in your own lives. but be warned! prepare for the rocky path ahead.
and those who wan abort mission: lovers-to-friends. nothing phenomenal nor condemning about that.
cause i tried doing that, and i being a loser, gave up mid way. it's tiring and being a spoilt brat(yes i admit, im guilty of that), i cant do something so selfless. but now that i look back, i think, it's not a bad choice afterall. cause! im not dependent of him, and i am spared of the misery of seeing him hooking up with anudder person or carrying the burden of expectations of a lover when im just a fren( like i say, some people cant change the synchrony of their r.s. pendulum).

in my opinion (yes, for all u may say im a opinionated bitch), there are r.s. in life that are just memories, some r.s. are worth holding onto for life and some you may just as well dismissed them as persona non grata in your life. im not asking you dump him/her as ur fren now, but! choose the best you think it's good for both of u now and in the long term. before you slander me of being a heartless slut to suggest closing doors on your once partner, think about it. will the plan of being friends do both of u good?
if u dont want to axe whatever you guys have so quickly, but you're tired of the whole thing(lovers to friends plan), try pulling youself away from the other party. give yourself more breathing space you will be able to think more clearly and who knows, it's easier to become friends by den without much strings attached.

the last scenario. i dont have to explain much. two parties hate each other. whoopee doo. no elaboration here.

taa daa! done!

anyone whoever read this and find it offensive, im sorry. and if you feel that it's talking about you, you can take this as a "dear kelly" bread and slowly chew on what i say, and see whether i make sense. if i dont, i cant be bothered, cause i myself think that i dont make sense sometimes.

p.s. this whole post was done in partial boredom. i have nothing better to do on a tuesday morning during a holiday~ (: and also, i think some of my friendS (meaning you're not the only one) who need some 3rd party point of view and advices. lastly. valentine day is coming~


-loves n kisses-
felina

love guru wannabe.

dear kelly should make me her apprentice~

alrights. i lied. im guilty of procastinating. im rather lazy with the whole upload the pics i took in japan.. so.. sue me..

anyway. today is a long day. first. went to eat lunch with steph. (: so long didnt see her.. miss this babe alot. ^^
went for job interview. seems promising, but no gurantee me n audd will get the job. but i pray for favour for both of us.

den went over to giraffe. damm it. the set dinner is so expensive la!! 69 ++ buckaroos per pax. what a rip off la! speaking of rip off, me n audd were dress hunting when we came across aurther yen. seriously. whatever.

:D

besides den dress huntin, we were dinner hunting..thinking of all possible places to dine in for vday. (: and we came up with the perfect place to dine in.

BOONYEN N YILING~~ PREPARED TO BE CHARMED ON VDAY MAN! BY THE PLACE AND THE SUPRISES WE PREPARED. haha!

to make u both feel guilty, we walked from dhoby ghaut mrt to far east(spend super long there) n bus back to p.s. again~ jus to prepare for the suprises and all. ^^

it was hell lotsa fun today with audrey.. all the nonsense n crapping. (: and making all those random statements.. ^^ you're the bitch man! (:

went tcc to eat. ^^ there's no more oreo cheesecake sadly ): choco makes the world goes round tho. cause once i start taking in choco and coffee, all the ideas came to my mind as tho im used to attract them~ haha! okay. weird description~=x

oh oh!! this dimsum shop at p.s. basement is nice n cheap! me n audd ate supper dere and it was considered cheap.. we ordered quite alot and the price was like 15 bucks only. neat har? ^^

heh. glad to be at home. uber tired from whole day of walking arnd and shopping. gonna rest early n meet audd n junwei tmr at tm. wee~~ ^^

so nightos n sweet dreams!

-loves and kisses-
felina

best vday ever (:

TATAIIMA!!


HELLO IM BACK!! im sure many of u all know by now. if not, YOU KNOW NOW! (:

JAPAN IS UBER FUN!!! IT WAS FRIGGING COLD AND ABSOLUTELY EXCITING! AND YES! THE FOOD IS DARN FABULUSO! AND YES ALSO THAT THERE ARE HAWT GUYS DERE!! ^^
WOOTX!!IM GONNA POST THE STUFFS I TOOK DURING MY TRIP IN MY NEXT POST, but now, blogging proper.


steph darling! im excited for u. ((: congrats hunny :D

audrey: no chace for u.

anw~~
yest touched down and cant help but realised that spore is stuffing hot! tsk, i miss the cold weather in japan. ate dinner with family and my eldest sissy new boyfren, edwin. HE SAID I WAS SHY!! whahahah!! finally. ive been waiting to hear this 3 words for my whole life time! ((: turns out to be an amusing and talented guy, and my family seems to like him better than the previous candidate. ^^

today went wai po house to collect angbaos and ate lunch and picked the babe of the house-frosty up. wai gong n wai po were super nice to take care of him while we were all overseas. mwah! ((: went facial den meet daddy n mummy for dinner n movie at century sq. ah long pte ltd... ala la long long long~~ ^^ finally i know where alast msn nick came from (: oh! i saw junwei n josiah dining at "bi feng tang" too!! they were on a date.. dinner n movie.. cant get any sweeter har! :D

speaking of which, junwei is still in deniable that he's my dad. face it man! ^^

wooohhooo!! now that im back, there's so many things i nid to do!! first! prepare for vday! <3
i nid to get a dress asap! haha! so tmr going to shop with audd. and prepare the suprise! next~ plan n finalise all the outings and gatherings~ to list: steamboat, 4e6 gathering, big day (:, shopping spree, party after party, and many many more! (: yeahahahahahaha!! ^^

-loves n kisses-
felina

hello!!

japan's tomorrow!! super cant wait!!

finally. i think i brought everything im supposed to bring. (:
it's been such a long time since i went to a cold country. wait. i think shanghai was the last. but it wasnt that cold. this time round, it's about 0 to -5 degrees over dere. i will be a frozen happy chipmunk.

(:

it's still saddening that we are skipping CNY this yr. not as much hongbaos as the past years. oh well. at least i get to spend a white CNY in japan. and i managed to pig myself out with the CNY delicacies, baw kwa, loveletters,pineapple tarts et cetra. :D

and the whole reunion thingy? will be tonight jus my parents, 2 sissies, and moi! hehehe!

see! im so upholding all those chinese traditions! ^^ i even went CNY on friday! im being all so oh-so-cheena-ish (: sadly, it wasnt that festive, or i didnt feel that festive mood there. it's all the same for the past donkey years. and the stuffs there are almost the same. they are like running a monopolistic trade dere. can we have some life there?!

oh im craving for sambal stringray, durians and rocher tau huey!! ): someone! help!! leh long leh long!! =x

and a tube dress?! hah. random.

one more thing. random note of the day: what if i find this super adorable cute guy (JAP :D) at japan? i cant stand long distance relationship ya noe?? okay. i must be starved and think too much. hah! or maybe. hopefully. there's a cute guy on the same trip as us. ((:

off to church. and den dinner. den japan! sayounara people.

-loves n kisses-
felina
x.o.x.o.

a day to the big day.

here!! im finally in the mood to blog. (:

yesterday~~ SAN-TOE-SASASASASA!!! ((:

i was the earliest for c change. and strictly speaking me n yiling was supposed to be stayin the furthest from habourfront, but, in the end. we hit there first! ((:

sun wasnt that awesome. didnt really manage to get a proper tan. nonetheless, i now had a healthy glow to my once pale cheeks, and we had uber loads of fun ^^and this just provides anudder reason why we shld go sentosa once more tgt! ((:


so we sat out first to eat. and it was disgusting. so much for its nice smell. seriously, i think that it's the cause for my tummy upset. ): darn. and the coffee shop has so many se-bei bei there. leering at us. possibly cause we are the most "desirable"ladies at the point in time, otherwise, it's just our fault for being good looking. xD but gawd. we were disgusted by their leers and open glances. sickening bullshit.

tramed over to sentosa. as i said, the sun wasnt very strong. and our volleyball skills are as awesome as audrey speaking chinese. ^^ to entertain ourselves,we played this game,"BI SHUO HUA JIAO" skills, where we have to guess what on earth is the person acting out about.
after which, we started to 3-10 (inside joke) ^^ till it started raining and we took shelter under the pavilion we shared with a group of korean guys. CHOWA!! haha (:but, honestly speaking there's only one candy to the eye among the thorns. he caught mine n audd's eyes almost immediately when they headed over to our side of beach earlier on. ^^ so it rained, and being typical girls who have nth better to do under a shelter and wanted time to pass quickly, we started cam-whoring, while taking sneak peaks at the hottie. :D

den jus when we decided to head off in the drizzle to check out rest of the palawan beach like the fortress at the other end of the suspending bridge, that korean asked us to take pict with them. but, i think he actuallie wanted to take pict with audd only. haha!
i jus realised sth, we agreed to take pict with them because the person who asked us was a cutie and the fact that him and the other specimens of subjects of the photo are koreans helped in our decision. just imagine it's those shit nuts at the coffeeshop. eew. haha! we are such suckeroos. :D
but seriously. that guy is adorable!! :D

started our mobile cam-whoring. taking pics while walking. ^^ and den decided to head back after one hr to take a dip in the water when it started to pour rather heavily. since the suntanning time is over and it's seem impossible to head over siloso and imbiah to camwhore we decided to go wash up. I LOVE THE GIRLS LA! (esp now that since they have seen the ugliest part of me, like family.)

i didnt noe washing up can be so fun xD mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah! ((: after that, the rain stopped and we decided to walk up the merlion park and to imbiah lookout. wanted to take cable car ride, but cause there's lack of time, we put the idea to the back burner. PROMISE WE WILL GO AGAIN OKAY! AND THE LUGE RIDE!!
:D

tramed back to vivo, and went to habourfront to get the mickey mouse balloons yl n me saw earlier. but, unfortunately, we arent able to blow the balloon into the shape, so settled for the second best, which is the red heart shaped balloobns. ((:

went to chinatown den. thanks for giving in to my demands girls. :D love ya'all. (: ate porridge. i was so darn pissed with one of the shop assistants whom in my opinion oughta be shot dead dere n den. !@#$%*&^%^%^%$@##$%&*()_*&^%$#@. tsk. shant waste my time blogging about her. .saw trishaw rides, and wanting to try sth new today, we wanted to take a ride. but man, the price was overrated. so decided against it.
wanted to jalan jalan along the CNY stores, but we were too tired aft kbox n sentosa. but i saw this tube dress very nice!! but. limited financially. so after checking out few of the stores, we headed over to bugis. and went TCC.

sadly. the oreo cheesecake was replaced but oreo sensation, which wasnt as heavenly as the old one that i so much prefered. tcc was sinful. ahh! the potato wedges dipped in cheese. wootxxxx. ^^ the soup and sandwich baobei n yl ordered were great too. nice nice! we have to head back n try out the other food dere tho our all time favourite of oreo cheesecake is gone. ): i pray that it wont be forever.
talked abt last yr n this yr v'day. and we are going to be spending it tgt. :D it beats all boyfriends. oops. ((: but i think it will be an awesome blast of fun ! :D suprises and all. ^^
yadda yadda.

headed back home with cass, who was working at MU. and saw ms teo, my sec 3 n 4 form tcher, at tampines platform. did a little catching up with her and she seemed kinda tired n stressed( who wont be under her new boss).. CHEER UP WINNIE!! ^^ hahah! headed home. was darn tired. and k.o.ed immediately when i hit my bed with another great dose of wonderful memories.

and today. mundane saturday. cant believe. haha! stayed at home to clean up the after mess of mugging, which appeared to hit the whole house cause i turned into a part time slob during the mugging period. oops. ((: n packed my luggage for the japan trip, which is going to be in 2 days time!! wahahah!! :D fantastic-ness. :D
was planning to go arrow today, but, didnt cause of the packing and all. ): so now, im at home, blogging and thinking what shld i type now. heh. mayb i shld upload some pics in the meantime. :D
ciao people. oops. i meant sayounara.


-loves n kisses-
felina.

suprises anyone?

the sumptous supper (:

it's a hearty affair.

that is shared.

tcc <3>
with the wrong person?! :D

boonyen n audrey xD

spastics!

me n yiling

the cleopatra and the royal highness~

me :D

yiling :D

baobei :D

audrey :D

turkish ice cream

me with THE heart <3

audrey with THE heart.

and we say,"RAH!"

baobei n yiling ((:

me n yiling (:

meeerrrrliiiiooonnnn!!

audriippxx~~

:D

im on the top of the world.

in the tram towards beach station

after wash up( the most fun wash up i ever had):D

nice la~~~

dont laugh! i know i look !@#$%^&

It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust I've got my heart set on
anywhere but here

Labels: sentosa. loves. hearts.