sometimes it's hard for friends to become lovers.


and there's nothing wrong about it. when a r.s. ends, most of the time, people will just want to remain as friends. i've been there and done that. however, it aint easy doing so. there are just so many barriers in that. it's not impossible, but it's a very tiring thing to do. and more than often, you will realise, two once in love people will just go their own way. why? simply, they couldnt stand the tiredness.

there's 2 scenarios i often see happening to my frens or people around me. so much so, i seem to get the hang of what's happening. if it's not your case or something like that, pardon me. im just a loveguru wannabe and not exactly a love guru, if you get what i mean.

first scenario~
one party hates the other.
duhh. of course you cant expect him/her to still shake hands with you and be all smiles when you're around him/her. firstly, it will just make the person be more irk with you. why would u wan that to happen! let him/her keep the good memories of you two together and dont scratch it any further. and secondly, the person may find you an irritanat and start wondering why on earth i get myself mix with this loser. who knows! the person mayb gloating over your misery! and one more important fact, you broke his/her heart, don't make his/her mind vulnerable too. you cant expect too much now. and maybe by leaving him/her alone, will make peace between both of u


2nd scenario~
both parties are perfectly fine with each other. however.
here's the catch. many a time, like i mentioned, couples will try to become friends after seperation. it aint easy. for starters, the partners' and friends' pendulum swing in a different rhythm.. things are not the same any more. you have different expectations for the person. but sometimes, either one or both parties are not able to switch from one synchrony to another.like changing "us" to "me" and "you"
you may say that both of you still want each other in close proximity. understandable. you guys are used to each other presence. but can i ask you something. let say one fine day, the other party falls in love with another person, would you be magnanimous enough to warm heartedly accept the new partner for ur once lover? let's face it. it's not really that smooth sailing. if you meet those self-concerned bstd, your shelf life in his heart has expired. but even if your partner is not those kind, it's hard to see him/her with someone else while you're at one side reminiscing the past memories that you've with him/her.
also, you may wonder why on earth you wanna continue the whole lovers-to-friends plan. huns, there's nth wrong. you are guys are too used to each other presence in your own lives. but be warned! prepare for the rocky path ahead.
and those who wan abort mission: lovers-to-friends. nothing phenomenal nor condemning about that.
cause i tried doing that, and i being a loser, gave up mid way. it's tiring and being a spoilt brat(yes i admit, im guilty of that), i cant do something so selfless. but now that i look back, i think, it's not a bad choice afterall. cause! im not dependent of him, and i am spared of the misery of seeing him hooking up with anudder person or carrying the burden of expectations of a lover when im just a fren( like i say, some people cant change the synchrony of their r.s. pendulum).

in my opinion (yes, for all u may say im a opinionated bitch), there are r.s. in life that are just memories, some r.s. are worth holding onto for life and some you may just as well dismissed them as persona non grata in your life. im not asking you dump him/her as ur fren now, but! choose the best you think it's good for both of u now and in the long term. before you slander me of being a heartless slut to suggest closing doors on your once partner, think about it. will the plan of being friends do both of u good?
if u dont want to axe whatever you guys have so quickly, but you're tired of the whole thing(lovers to friends plan), try pulling youself away from the other party. give yourself more breathing space you will be able to think more clearly and who knows, it's easier to become friends by den without much strings attached.

the last scenario. i dont have to explain much. two parties hate each other. whoopee doo. no elaboration here.

taa daa! done!

anyone whoever read this and find it offensive, im sorry. and if you feel that it's talking about you, you can take this as a "dear kelly" bread and slowly chew on what i say, and see whether i make sense. if i dont, i cant be bothered, cause i myself think that i dont make sense sometimes.

p.s. this whole post was done in partial boredom. i have nothing better to do on a tuesday morning during a holiday~ (: and also, i think some of my friendS (meaning you're not the only one) who need some 3rd party point of view and advices. lastly. valentine day is coming~


-loves n kisses-
felina

love guru wannabe.

dear kelly should make me her apprentice~