enough is enough. no more wallowing in self-pitiness. ought to start gritting my teeth, and make a move on.
though depressing, but things will be so much better, right? fuck it, who am i kidding?

and you. the thought never occurred to me, and when it did, somewhat, i feel crushed and..uncertain? definitely. things have been a minefield lately, and it seemed that im gonna a button that will self-destruct. is it me or are things really out of control? is it me,yet again, or are we distanced ourselves since...?
or maybe just that, our conversation has run dry, and i cant come up with something new. it doesn't really matter what i do. so here's my observation, you could never see it through my eyes and i'm too tired to try.

maybe you tell me.
tell me, what can be done to salvage a cause i think was lost?
tell me, is there any place for redeeming grace?
tell me, what's the score for things to be perfect once more?
tell me, that this could just be a horrible nightmare and it will soon be gone.


then again, i almost didnt notice, that i still have audrey by my side. the term bffafafaf is not just for kicks.. i know one reason why i don't seem to lash out at you, even i did it to many others, is that, you always say the right things, at the right stuff, and understand me inside out. so much so, i can't help, but control my temper when im with you. you never treat any emotions lightly, never take a mickey out of serious matters, you never attempt to change the subject when im still recovering from the heartache of any order, cause you know fully well, what needs to be tended to and most importantly, you care to share and feel the pain with me. you lightened the mood, not by changing how i feel, but what i think. you know exactly when a joke should come in and when to hold the joke.
how not to love you,you bitch?